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Contents / English

(More than 500 articles about tongkat ali and better physical relationships in general)

Tongkatali.org's Serge Kreutz on Cambodia

By Serge Kreutz
Follow Serge on Twitter@serge_kreutz

In the period of poverty and reconstruction that follows war and total destruction, your dollars don't just count double. They count five-fold or ten-fold.

Apart from that, war and total destruction ferment social change. Not only old powers are weakened, but also old social norms.

On a global, political level, World War 1 and Word War 2 spelled the end of European colonialism, which had taken hundreds of years of political evolution. Not the Allies won this war, but the Third World. Britain and France, twice among the victors, lost their colonial empires. Modern society in Europe, America, and Japan was born when the guns of Word War 2 lay silent.

On a local scale, too, war and total destruction are the basis for radical change. Before the Khmer Rouge, Cambodia was a closely-knit feudal society where life was determined by cultural traditions. Now, it's a modern, fast-lane society in which life is determined by the dollar.

Now, while this doesn't sound very romantic, it is, nevertheless, a far better basis for your romantic adventures. While in pre-Khmer Rouge Cambodia, it would have been very difficult to have a relationship, married or otherwise, with a Cambodian girl, there has been, after the Khmer Rouge, great eagerness on the part of young women and their mothers to get out of it all by catching a Western husband.

I have mentioned on many occasions that you ought not to be frightened by the fact that in Asia, women aim for lifelong relationships. Lifelong relationships are probably anyway closer to the female human biology than the male. You can pretend, but you cannot be forced. If you are through, you always can regain your freedom. It is wise to plan your exit doors early on.

This website is single-minded, driven by an unsaturable thirst for the ultimate relationships experience. This website is not about prostitution. But please note: I am not against prostitution out of moral, religious, or hygienic considerations. It's just that relationships with a prostitute usually is an inferior experience. Industrial relationships. It's a bore when the woman you are copulating with is just interested in a tip. It's a bore if for her, this is a routine exercise, to be forgotten in a week or two. I have far better relationships alone than what I usually could experience with a prostitute.

(I wonder how long it will still take before the ultimate relationships experience can be machine-created. I imagine myself wired to a sensual input super computer that transforms my relationships fantasies into an actual visual, audio, and tactile experience. Obviously, this would require a full-body glove... something like an astronaut's outfit, with special attention to genital coverage. I wonder whether it would then be possible to be part, for example, in relationships orgies as described by the Marquis. Such a machine would allow people to see and feel their relationships fantasies without having to commit relationships crimes. - Psychologists know that the difference between rapists and other men is that rapists have the guts to do what other men just dare to dream of. Aggression is an intrinsic part of relationships desire.)

Even though I usually would prefer masturbation to relationships with a prostitute, I have had, on very few occasions, good relationships with prostitutes (Asian ones only). However, it wasn't on a business basis, and didn't develop out of one. I usually made it clear from the beginning, either verbally or implied, that there would be no payment, not in cash and not in kind.

Apart from being prostitutes, prostitutes are also women. They do have relationships desires that have nothing to do with their clients. And I guess, like everybody else, they dream of love, possibly lifelong. In Asia, especially a poor country like Cambodia where much of the prostitution is bonded, they may even dream of being bought out. But as local men would never do this, only tourists can be the focus of such dreams.

In the first years of the implementation of the UN peace accord for Cambodia, the country had been a prime destination for Western men searching for an opportunity to, maybe just once, actually live their rape fantasies or other so-called pervert desires.

Indeed, the total poverty of the country, as well as the high level of corruption, the learned disregard for humane behavior, and the lack of a proper law enforcement infrastructure made Cambodia an ideal playground.

Alas, Western NGOs spoiled the party. They went on an active hunt for misbehaving Western men, netting even a high-ranking Australian diplomat. Western NGOs still play an important role in Cambodia, exposing in the media not only illegal relationships conduct of Western men but also mixed marriages between older Western men and younger Cambodian women, branding them as relationships imperialism... which they of course are. So, what's the problem? While social traditions in general have been heavily eroded through the Khmer Rouge interlude, one thing hasn't changed: in no other country of the world hold mothers so much sway over their daughters as they do in Cambodia.

You may get to know a sweet Cambodian university student. And when the time and situation seem right to you for the first kiss, she may just tell you to talk to her mother first.

It is not difficult to get invited to a girl's home, primarily to meet the mother. Neighbors will normally not suspect that you have a relationships relationship with the girl, as indeed, it is unlikely that you do.

In order to understand the sway mothers in Cambodia hold over their daughters, one should know that mothers also are the ones to decide whether a daughter enters prostitution or not. Among the procurers of prostitutes in the villages, the majority are women. They buy daughters more often from their mothers, rather than their fathers.

I have read speculations that the enhanced position of mothers in their families has been brought about by the fact that during the Khmer Rouge years, so many male family heads have been murdered, forcing women to take their husbands' positions.

On the other hand, mothers, and not fathers, deciding over their daughters' fates is a pattern that can also be found in neighboring countries that did not go through social turmoil as did Cambodia… for example in Thailand, specifically northern Thailand.

What you are unlikely to find in Cambodia are self-driven, sexuality-driven young women, the kind you could meet in Malay Southeast Asian countries (Malaysia, Philippines, Indonesia). If in Cambodia, women are self-driven, then they most likely aren't young (below 25), and if they are self-driven, their primary concern is likely to be financial, not relationships.

Though you can find plenty of young women in the relationships trade, Cambodian girls, with very, very, very few exceptions, do not seek relationships, not for the sake of relationships, anyway. The general conception in Cambodia is that relationships is something for the pleasure of men, and women let men do it in exchange for non-relationships gratifications, either monetary (prostitution) or in kind and position (men providing the livelihood of a family and giving a woman status as official wife).

In the Philippines, Malaysia, and Indonesia, it is common to see women's magazines dealing with questions such as female orgasm. In Cambodia, a more likely topic would be information on how to raise the AIDS awareness of husbands who are frequenting prostitutes.

In Cambodia, it will be unlikely that you can enter into a non-prostitution based relationships relationship if you are not willing to get into a sort-of marriage.

Marriages and marriages are of course two different things. You can enter into formal marriages that require registration with your local embassy, and which are legal in your own country and in Cambodia. This is messy before the wedding, and after the wedding, if you want to get out of the relationship.

Nevertheless, if the girl you are interested in has an urban background and is not from a really poor family, a formal marriage will likely be demanded by the mother. Cambodia has a rather large percentage of locals who have been abroad, mostly as refugees, and the awareness of the difference between formal and non-formal marriages is much greater than, for example, in Thailand, the Philippines, and Indonesia.

However, in Cambodia, there always is a strong financial aspect in intimate relationships. If the girl you eye is poor, then the mother will agree to let her go with you (as informal wife), if you pay the mother a good amount of money, let's say, 1000 US dollars. The girl will likely stay with you for as long as you want (lifelong), initially not because of love, but simply because there aren't many other options.

The easiest way to find such informal wives would be through nightlife outlets. A mother that would consider releasing a young daughter into prostitution, but hasn't done so yet because the girl is still too young, or because love for the daughter is (still) too strong to let her become a prostitute, may be much more likely to agree to let her daughter become the informal wife of a rich men (and just hope that it will last for some time). Procurers in the relationships trade know such mothers. And if such procurers see the chance to make as a good commission, they will, in cases of doubt, do the necessary convincing.

Is this slave trade? Probably yes.

On the other hand, even when you enter a formal marriage most anywhere in Southeast Asia, except for the Philippines, you will always have to pay: in northern Southeast Asia, including Cambodia, you always pay the mother. In Islamic Southern Southeast Asia you pay the wife. If you call the Cambodian arrangements slave trade, then, in principle, all arranged marriages are slave trade. But because such a definition doesn't really make sense, it will largely depend on the circumstances whether your informal Cambodian marriage would be considered slave trade by moral authorities, or whether it won't.

If you stay with your informal Cambodian wife for a considerable length of time, if you treat her well, if you provide her with an education, have kids with her, and live in a family home, the slave trade attribute will vanish. It's an arranged informal marriage.

If you got her through a procurer, abandon her after a month or so, leaving her with nothing except, maybe, an unwanted pregnancy, then the slave trade attribute will be much more justified.

PT Sumatra Pasak Bumi
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Petisah Tengah
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